| | Right about now, I’m dying of anticipation. No, the Carly Simon song about oozing ketchup isn’t filling my head- I hate condiments of practically every variety. But that’s another story altogether. I’m anticipating my next vacation, which is scheduled to commence in just 3 ½ weeks.
I’m a bit of a travel nut. I’m not as adventurous as I could be- my experiences are much more milquetoast than a colleague whose leisure travel destinations are determined more by studying the State Department’s “Current Travel Warnings” list than flipping through Conde Nast Traveler. This time, my wife and I are taking a weeklong cruise from LA along the Pacific coast of Mexico. In the past, we’ve cruised to the Eastern Caribbean, driven along the Pacific Coast Highway after a short sidetrip to Yosemite, wandered about London, and for our honeymoon, taken a fortnight to make a full circuit of Ireland.
I tend to be one of those annoying planner types. I don’t go as far as preparing a minute-by-minute itinerary, to be adhered to under penalty of death, but I like to have at least a vague idea of what I’m doing on a particular day: museum or shopping, nature or culture, red wine or white. I tend to be somewhat obsessive about travel planning, which of course has drawbacks. Sometimes, I’m afflicted with the horrifically incapacitating disorder tripus interruptus, for which no Viagra- or Cialis-like cure has been developed. Just a few months ago, we abandoned a trip to Rome for no apparent reason. Sure, the dollar’s tanking against the euro, but that was a cop-out. The real reason, I fear, was much more depraved. I believe I might like travel planning more than the travel itself. The Rome trip was pretty much ready to pull the trigger on- flights were reviewed, hotels researched, even plans to dig through piles of bones were made. But then, at the moment of truth…nothing.
So it comes as no surprise to me that I’ve spent many of my free hours over the past few weeks repeatedly going over my options. Land or sea? Which cruise line? Caribbean? Pacific? April or summer? Inside or balcony. Snorkel or tequila-making? I use a lot of resources to feed my wanderlust. The internet’s a great source- if you know what to believe, and whom to trust. Just today, I’m skimming over a site dedicated to tips and trip reports filed by cruise enthusiasts, when I come across this gem, posted as a “travel hint for new cruisers:”
“clorox wet wipes for any thing that you think might still be germy (the whistles on the life jackets…)”
Sure, the poster meant well. I mean, this was just one among many useful suggestions. My real favorite was “bring twice as much money, and half the clothes.” That one prepares you the best, in my experience. But think about it. If you’re in the unfortunate situation of having to don your USCG approved floatation device, do you REALLY care about the whistle being “germy?” If you’re bobbing about in the shark-infested waters of the Pacific, and need to signal a passing boat, do you care if you get a bit of a sore throat or a cough? Me, I’ll take my chances, though hopefully I won’t “drownd.” (Another “non-word” entry heard on TLC’s “Moving Up” last night: “…drownding in a sea of pink.”)
Anchor’s Aweigh! |
